Allison Elizabeth

Dear cast of The Lalaloopsy Movie,

We have been informed of a play recorded as a movie burned onto a DVD that is quite clearly copied from an already existing property. Plagiarism is no joke. While Cinderella is in the public domain, the cardboard houses and phrases such as “are you my pretty princess?” make it clear this was a direct copy of Lalaloopsy15’s primetime performance ‘Cinderella.’ We have heard the client’s defense of being ‘8 years old’, however copyright has never cared about personal metrics. We ask for the next story to be something deeply personal so as to tickle the idea of individuality so the audience may crush it through their personal resonance with the piece.

Not all was lost in the production of this performance. For instance, the set was heading in the right direction. Recycled Costco strawberry boxes and quilting squares from your grandmother are wonderfully unique motifs within the ‘whatchurgunnados’ videos also by Lalaloopsy15. There is guidance, but not hand holding; important to keep those hands free to puppet the dolls!

The script is wherein the issue lies. Just as you have built the wings, painted the floors, adorned the costumes, ordered the opening night bouquets, as did Lalaloopsy15. Except you did not create the script, thus reaping the rewards of Lalaloopsy15 while doing none of the work. You do not know the relation they have to Cinderella. Perhaps she is an aunt who brings over danishes filled with cherries from the castle garden, or an estranged sister who has become so enthralled in the politics of royal life she transformed her kingdom into a dictatorship where no one has money but she has cake and only returned to her provincial life in the suburbs of whatever to escape the pillaging rage of her subjects. These things add context and nuance, by repeating with no reason you create an echo chamber of consonants and vowels void of anything but noise pollution. Words you did not say roll off the tongue like sand because your mouth is unaccustomed to such phrases. Have you considered who you are?

The best part about performance is that anybody can stand anywhere and modulate their body and voice to say anything they want. You can stand in your living room next to seven people sitting on the same chair choreographing their limbs to represent the failed love confession you were given with a tiramisu cake. But don’t do that because it’s already been done. You could wear a yellow dress and express your desire to be free from the new responsibilities by crawling on the ground and basking in their yellow shine. That is an adaptation of a story. A transformation from what it once was. The sand has been reshaped into something you can place on your tongue and spit back out directly into the spittoon. After all, we speak to be heard, we listen to hear ourselves in something else, and we take what serves us and leave behind the rest.

Please do not find this cease and desist as a sign to forgo the creative process altogether. It is an incredible feat for a lady of single digit age. It should serve to inform you of the legal consequences of plagiarism and help you find inspiration for your next project. If you really did look at the glass slipper and see reflected in it the pretty princess of yourself, then you could take those sweet beams of light and shift them to put the spotlight on yourself. You could call yourself the perfect princess, or the prolific princess, or the puffy, proud, proletariat, profanely profound princess! All of which are pretty qualities that have not already dawned the stage or screen.

We do however request that your video be taken down, or else further legal proceedings may be pursued. We’ve also heard about your upcoming plan to recreate a basilmentos video with Felicity and Elizabeth. We ask you to reconsider this decision and instead use her videos as a springboard rather than the final destination.

Best of luck in your creative endeavors,

You, 15 years in the future.

The Theater of Trinekts

Are You Ready for This Jelly?